The Space Between Us....

What the web series 'Adolescence' doesn’t say, but makes you feel in every episode

The Ache You Didn’t Expect

Watching Adolescence as a parent is not easy. Each scene lingers long after it ends. Each character makes you pause. It leaves you with a lump in your throat and a heaviness in your heart.

It is not because of the drama but because it holds up a mirror, forcing every parent to look into it. And that can be uncomfortable.

It brings up questions, not about the characters or the storyline, but about us. About our children.

And the ache within builds up when we realise that even in the most loving homes, where parents have the best intentions and are doing their best, a silent and painful space can grow between parent and child. A space where loneliness can take root, even when everything looks “fine” on the outside.

It reminds us that the growing-up years can be incredibly lonely for some kids.

The Loneliness Children Don’t Show Us

Adolescence shows us not just the chaos of teenage life, but the quiet, aching loneliness underneath. It shows us the emotions teenagers go through but don't know how to share - the feeling of being misunderstood, the pressure of not living up to expectations, the frustration of not knowing how to explain their pain, and the exhaustion of constantly feeling ‘not good enough’.

It makes us realise just how much they are holding inside and how often it goes unnoticed.

And the hardest truth is that for many teens, this is not a drama. It is their everyday reality.

When they try to open up about their fears and anxieties, they often hear things like…

• “It’s not such a big deal.”

• “Stop being dramatic.”

• “Don’t worry.”

• “You need to toughen up.”

So they retreat. They stop communicating. Not to create a distance, but to protect themselves.

Silence feels safer to them than trying to explain to adults who don't seem to understand.

Their irritation or snapping may seem like disrespect, but more often, it is a sign of being overwhelmed. It is their way of saying, “I don’t know how to handle what I am feeling.”

Their withdrawal is sadness in disguise; a quiet hope that someone will notice the ache that they are not able to express in words.

What Adolescence Shows Us But Does Not Say Out Loud

There is a powerful takeaway that is not spelt out in the series but felt profoundly in every scene.

The parent-child relationship is not built during the big, dramatic moments; it is built quietly, gently, in the ordinary, daily interactions.

The shrug.

The eye roll. 

The “I'm fine” behind a closed door.

These are the moments our children need us the most, even if they are not able to say it. 

We forget that our children don't always want to be fixed, rescued, or told what to do. Often, they just want to be seen, heard and understood. 

Their behaviour silently asks…

Do you care?

Will you sit with me even if I ignore you?

Do you still love me, even when I don’t follow the rules?

Will you stand by me if I fail?

We often think that only big, meaningful conversations will bring us closer to our children. But the truth is that connection grows in the everyday, ordinary moments. That’s where trust is built.

In the manner in which we respond to their behaviour.

How we greet them in the morning.

How we sit beside them and listen without being distracted.

These small moments matter. How we show up every single day, no matter what, makes a huge difference. 

It is like saying, without words…

“I may not understand you sometimes but I will be by your side through the good times and bad times.”

“I will always love you, even when I am upset with you.”

Remember, children don’t need perfect parents. They need anchored ones – parents who are present through all the ups and downs of life.

What can we do?

We don't have to fix everything. We don't have to have all the answers. We just need to show up. All they want is our presence, for us to listen, and to be by their side. 

We can start by showing up for them with love, every single day. Even through their misbehaviour and everyday challenges, let us become their safe space, notice the feelings behind their behaviour, and allow those feelings to be seen and heard.

Some parents may think, "I have not always been present. Maybe I have not always been my child’s safe space." And that’s okay. Start now. Start afresh. One small moment at a time.

Maybe that is the real gift we can give our children - being a parent who is not perfect but is willing to grow, to learn, and who keeps finding new ways to love them better, every single day.